Giving and getting help for mental health issues

Perhaps one of the scariest feelings as a young adult is to find out that a friend or peer is struggling or you find yourself spiraling out of control. In any given school there are students who are depressed, self-harming, struggling with an eating disorder, being abused, abusing drugs or alcohol, in unhealthy relationships, being bullied, confused about sexuality or gender, and so on. What do you do when you suddenly become someone's confidant? What do you do when you feel lost?

Friend shares about feeling suicidal

Never ignore when someone mentions to you about feeling suicidal, even if it's shared in a joking manner. Your role is to find a trusted adult who can determine if the threat is serious.

• Take the friend immediately to find a trusted adult. If your friend refuses to go, stay with your friend and send someone to find you an adult. Use your phone to get in touch with an adult, if necessary.
• If you are alone at home with this friend, call a parent or neighbor to come help you. Do your best to keep your friend in your sight until an adult arrives.
• Once you have an adult present, share all of the information you know, like the friend's name, what specifically was shared with you, and if at any point the person shared a plan to carry out the suicide.
• Your role now ends and it's important for you to practice self-care after being in a situation like this.
• Continue to show empathy and compassion by not gossiping. Talk about what you've been through with a parent or trusted adult, as opposed to a friend.

Friend is struggling

• Listen as best you can and try to remember the facts shared.
• Do not try to solve this problem. Simply put, you are not qualified and even with the best intentions, you could steer the person in the wrong direction. Simply say, "I've heard everything you have shared about this serious issue. We are going to find you support."
• Offer to take this friend to a trusted adult (school counselor, your parent, teacher, spiritual leader).
• If the friend cannot initially go to the trusted adult, explain that you are going to immediately seek help from an adult you trust. Sometimes this is met with a bit of resistance, but typically this person found you because they needed someone strong to help find support. Give the friend a few options of adults you trust and ask which person would be best.
• When you find your trusted adult, explain as calmly as you can that a friend needs support and the type of support needed is beyond what a friend can manage. Share the name of the person and the issue. Ask what they plan to do to support your friend. This trusted adult might need time to figure how to get the appropriate help but stress that you believe it's serious and needs to be addressed promptly.
• Ensure you maintain your friend's trust. In other words, don't gossip. These issues are not laughing matters. Your friend needs your compassion and empathy.

If you are struggling

The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone. According to the World Health Organization, "around 20% (1 in 5) of the world's children and adolescents have mental disorders or problems, with many starting before the age of 14."

• Don't struggle alone. Share your struggles with a trusted adult. Ask for help.
• If you don't have a trusted adult, find a caring, mature, trustworthy peer. This is not always your best friend. Ask that peer to help you talk with an adult. Remember that peers are not equipped to help you through your mental health struggles.
• If the first adult isn't able to help you, try again. Keep trying until you feel a connection with someone you trust understands your struggles.
• If there is a mental health hotline in your area, add it to your phone contacts now.
• Don't self-medicate with prescription or street drugs/alcohol. While this might seem helpful, you are compounding your issues. A medical doctor will prescribe medicine if needed and will then continually monitor your progress. This is extremely important as a young person.

If you think about the numbers from the WHO shared above, in a class of 20 peers, at any given time 4 could be struggling. Why then is there still so much stigma around getting mental health support? You'd never see friends making fun of someone going for cancer treatment or to get a broken bone set. You'd never see people making jokes about their issues. Be mindful of the way people inappropriately throw around words, like depressed, bi-polar, OCD, and schizophrenic, for example. I challenge you to learn more about mental health issues and start breaking down the stigma for getting help. It takes great courage to reach out for support and to be a leader in breaking down the stigma.
Take care,
Sharon

image 1 - Web.​https://trifectahealthnyc.com/our-services/depression/. 03.08.2016.
Image 2 - Web. ​http://www.who.int/en/. 03.08.2016.
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