There are times when you will find that you are upset about an incident or are experiencing anxiety and you are having trouble moving forward. In times like this, the "thought checker" tool I'm sharing with you here is the way to go. I highly recommend that you work through this the first few times with a counselor. The part where you have to change the way you look at the situation is a bit tricky at first. Once you get good at this, you will find that you change your thinking before you get worked up. This is one of my favorite tools to use with teens. If you do this correctly, you will feel much better by the time you finish the exercise.
If you have access to the MoodKit App, I recommend using the App if you find this tool helps you. I'm attaching a blank copy of the "thought checker" and an example of a teen who is irritated because mom is threatening to take the phone again. The reason I created the document is because I have found that MoodKit is not available everywhere. There are variations of this process online but I prefer this format. I'll share the steps with you here but please open the document to see a completed one to get a feel for how it works.
If you have access to the MoodKit App, I recommend using the App if you find this tool helps you. I'm attaching a blank copy of the "thought checker" and an example of a teen who is irritated because mom is threatening to take the phone again. The reason I created the document is because I have found that MoodKit is not available everywhere. There are variations of this process online but I prefer this format. I'll share the steps with you here but please open the document to see a completed one to get a feel for how it works.
- Briefly describe the upsetting incident in a sentence or two.
- Choose three feelings from the feelings provided below. If you can’t find three that fit, at least find two if you selected anger. Anger is a second emotion so this forces you to really think about what you were feeling first. Once you select the feelings, place an X on the scale to rate the intensity of each feeling from 1 – 100%. 1 being hardly at all and 100 being extremely intense.
| angry confused demoralized enraged guilty irritated nervous scared | annoyed rejected disappointed envious humiliated jealous panicky self-conscious | anxious depressed disgusted frightened hurt lonely resentful stressed | bored defensive embarrassed frustrated insecure mad sad worried |
Feeling 1 __________________________
1 _____________________________________________________________________________ 100
Feeling 2 __________________________
1 _____________________________________________________________________________ 100
Feeling 3 __________________________
1 _____________________________________________________________________________ 100
1 _____________________________________________________________________________ 100
Feeling 2 __________________________
1 _____________________________________________________________________________ 100
Feeling 3 __________________________
1 _____________________________________________________________________________ 100
- In a few sentences, describe what was going through your mind when you started feeling this way?
- Select the type of distortions in your thinking that you feel fit this situation? Highlight or circle all that apply.
| All-or-nothing Seeing this incident as black-or-white with no middle ground, like perfect or worthless. Blaming Blaming either yourself or others too much for this incident instead of focusing on what you can do. Catastrophizing Blowing things way out of proportion, insisting you won’t be able to handle this incident, or thinking it will never end. Downplaying positives Minimizing or dismissing positive qualities or behaviors relating to this incident by telling yourself they are not important. Emotional reasoning You think something is true relating to this incident because it “feels” true. Your feelings are guiding your decisions too much. Fortune telling Predicting negative outcomes relating to this incident. Intolerance of uncertainty Not being able to deal with uncertainty or the unknown relating to this incident. | Labeling Describing yourself or others involved in this incident using negative labels. Mind reading Assuming you know what another person is feeling or thinking about this incident without checking with them. You jump to conclusions about someone else’s intentions. Negative filtering Ignoring the positives from this incident. You have trouble seeing the whole picture because you are focused on the negatives. Not accepting Wishing things were different about this incident instead of accepting the situation and moving forward. Overgeneralizing You find yourself saying people or things related to this incident are “always” or “never” a certain way. Personalizing Telling yourself that events of this incident relate to you when they don’t. Should and must thinking Insisting that people related to the incident “should” or “must” be a certain way. Expecting everyone to live by your standards or rules. |
- Look back at each step so far. Write how you can look at this situation without any of the distorted thinking you selected above. We call this reframing.
- List the feelings you had when you started this exercise and re-rate them.
Feeling 1 __________________________
1 _____________________________________________________________________________ 100
Feeling 2 __________________________
1 _____________________________________________________________________________ 100
Feeling 3 __________________________
1 _____________________________________________________________________________ 100
Erhardt, D. &. Dorian, E. (2015). MoodKit App. Thriveport.
Again, if you have access to the MoodKit App, you can keep track of every time you do a "thought checker" and this will help you to recognize patterns. You can also get little mood boosting activities, chart your mood, and make notes of the progress you make in a journal. This could all be helpful to share with a counselor or doctor.
 
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Click the file above to access the blank "thought checker" and the sample completed for you.
Take care,
Sharon
Take care,
Sharon
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