One of my biggest concerns as a Science teacher and Counselor is that some schools seem to purposefully skip over this topic, while some are forced to teach the course in such a way that you are not sure if you are normal for wanting to understand: why your body is changing, how to maintain healthy relationships, if it is normal to be having sexual thoughts, how you will know if you are both ready for the next step, and so on.

I am going to provide you with information and links because I don't want your friends, random internet sites, or pornography to be the sources of your information. I'm sure you have a clear understanding of the morals and values of your family and where they stand on this topic.I recognize some of you live in countries where using tampons is taboo, homosexuality is illegal, or masturbation is against religious teachings, for instance. I'm not here to push my morals and values on you. I'm going to be presenting you with factual information and links so you can make informed decisions. Perhaps my blog will provide a tool for you to talk with your parents.

I will then share posts on: puberty, healthy relationships and recognizing when yours is not healthy, sexting and being safe online, stages of intimacy, pregnancy and contraception, understanding mutual consent, and so on. I'll share clips and links that I find to be clear, accurate, and concise. ​

The following chart was created by Westbend Insurance - Culture of Safety using information provided by StopItNow.org. You might be surprised to know that babies and toddlers are curious and will find ways to comfort themselves by exploring their genital area. (ex. Boys might play with their penis when being changed or while playing in the tub, while you might see girls rocking across the floor or on the side of the sandbox.) Children in their first few years of school will sometimes self-stimulate in the classroom or on the playground when they are nervous. At this age, this behavior can be approached in a similar way you would view children sucking their thumb. Notice that by the age of 6 to 8, children are able to understand that this self-stimulation should be done in private. Reading the chart might trigger memories of friends in early elementary school playing doctor, which is quite common.
Look closely at each age group and the common behaviors. Uncommon behaviors are cues that something could be wrong. If you see these uncommon behaviors in a child or teen, you should let a counselor or trusted adult know. It is possible some professional help is needed. If reading this chart upsets you in any way, please talk to a trusted adult.
The main reason for sharing this is because some children are made to feel guilt or shame for behaviors that are developmentally appropriate. This will probably help you to realize that the thoughts and behaviors you have experienced throughout your development are/were normal.

This is an important starting point. We are often given the false impression that our sexual development begins at puberty. As you can see, that's clearly not the case.
If this topic is interesting to you, the following links provide additional information:
National Traumatic Child Stress Network - contains child development chart through age 12 and what and when to teach children about sexuality related safety information
KidsHealth - for parents on early childhood sexual development (easy to understand)
Traverse Bay Childhood Advocacy - last four pages are detailed charts of childhood sexual development
Saskatchewan Prevention Institute - flip chart of details for nurses and parents about childhood sexual development
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In the next post, I'm going to focus on puberty, which is an exciting but challenging time. Feel free to send me a message or leave a comment if there is a topic of particular interest that you feel you need help understanding.

Never ignore when someone mentions to you about feeling suicidal, even if it's shared in a joking manner. Your role is to find a trusted adult who can determine if the threat is serious.

• Take the friend immediately to find a trusted adult. If your friend refuses to go, stay with your friend and send someone to find you an adult. Use your phone to get in touch with an adult, if necessary.
• If you are alone at home with this friend, call a parent or neighbor to come help you. Do your best to keep your friend in your sight until an adult arrives.
• Once you have an adult present, share all of the information you know, like the friend's name, what specifically was shared with you, and if at any point the person shared a plan to carry out the suicide.
• Your role now ends and it's important for you to practice self-care after being in a situation like this.
• Continue to show empathy and compassion by not gossiping. Talk about what you've been through with a parent or trusted adult, as opposed to a friend.

If you think about the numbers from the WHO shared above, in a class of 20 peers, at any given time 4 could be struggling. Why then is there still so much stigma around getting mental health support? You'd never see friends making fun of someone going for cancer treatment or to get a broken bone set. You'd never see people making jokes about their issues. Be mindful of the way people inappropriately throw around words, like depressed, bi-polar, OCD, and schizophrenic, for example. I challenge you to learn more about mental health issues and start breaking down the stigma for getting help. It takes great courage to reach out for support and to be a leader in breaking down the stigma.
Take care,
Sharon

image 1 - Web.​https://trifectahealthnyc.com/our-services/depression/. 03.08.2016.
Image 2 - Web. ​http://www.who.int/en/. 03.08.2016.
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So here you are getting back into the swing of things. This is the time of year that counselors have quite a flow of students who feel like they are falling apart. Why? Deadlines, endless projects, preparing for presentations and finals. The work seems endless and the time of day in which you have to complete work seems limited. I'll never forget working in a school and having two young ladies walk into my office. They were in their first year of the IBDP Programme (11th grade) and they noticed that their peers were not sleeping, surviving on junk food and caffeine, a few were self-harming, some were having panic attacks, and they feared one was suicidal. "What happened to our class? We used to be so happy as a group." I asked a very simple question and they both cried. "When is the last time you had a good laugh?" I asked these young ladies what they did as little girls that made them feel positive emotions. Needless to say, a few minutes later they were outside skipping across the PE field, and they came back to my office giggling and energized.
I'm going to encourage you to think about time in your day where you can incorporate healthy, unstructured time to play to increase your positive emotions. Think about morning breaks, free time after lunch or school, or right when you get home. Make this time part of your schedule. Free play might look like jamming with a band, playing chess, climbing a tree, dancing with friends, going on a social outing, playing tag during your morning break, and so on. While you think you are getting ahead by only making time for academics and structured activities, I'm here to tell you there is a healthier, happier way.
If you remember back to my first post to you, I stressed the importance of thinking about PIES. By solely taking care of intellectual health and throwing physical, emotional, and social health on the back burner, you can quickly find yourself out of sorts.

You are not a machine. All of the benefits listed above should help you to see that ensuring you have time for free play will help you stay balanced. Get your friends together and start having a healthy dose of play time and I bet you will find you are far more productive when the time comes to hit the books.