To teach you about this, I’m going to share possible response types using examples from three different scenarios.
- scoring the top mark on an exam
- sharing news about moving to a new country
- getting accepted to first choice for university
- How exciting! I’m not surprised. You always give your all in class and I know you study hard at home. I’d like to hear more about how you study at home so I can try to challenge you next time.
- Wow! You are so lucky to get to move around to experience different cultures. I plan to move around when I’m older so make sure you keep in touch and share with me how you like your new location.
- Wonderful! All of your hard work truly paid off. If anyone deserves this opportunity, it’s you. I can’t wait to hear about your experiences once you get there.
- You did well.
- So you’re moving to a new country.
- I heard you got accepted by your top choice.
This person shows understated support without sharing the excitement.
- I don’t think that exam was fair. I studied as hard as you did and the questions weren’t aligned with what we were told to study. The teacher likes you so you probably got more information than we did.
- Why doesn’t your family just stay put? I don’t think it’s very healthy to move and leave your friends behind. I’d never want a life like you have.
- I’m guessing you have family connections or they could tell you have a lot of money. No one gets into that school without some insider connection. Sorry, but you know it’s true.
- I can’t wait until the end of term.
- My mom and I had the worst fight last night.
- Did you see what she was wearing today?
This person ignores the news and your feelings.
- have fewer conflicts
- experience higher levels of happiness
- develop stronger trust levels
- engage in more relaxing and fun activities together
- feel accepted, understood, and cared for (Colman, 2010).
Colman, Jessica. "Active Constructive Responding." Optimal Functioning: A Positive Psychology Handbook. Revised ed. Booknook.biz, 2010. Print.