Sexual Education - Sexual Development

One of my biggest concerns as a Science teacher and Counselor is that some schools seem to purposefully skip over this topic, while some are forced to teach the course in such a way that you are not sure if you are normal for wanting to understand: why your body is changing, how to maintain healthy relationships, if it is normal to be having sexual thoughts, how you will know if you are both ready for the next step, and so on.

---

I am going to provide you with information and links because I don't want your friends, random internet sites, or pornography to be the sources of your information. I'm sure you have a clear understanding of the morals and values of your family and where they stand on this topic.I recognize some of you live in countries where using tampons is taboo, homosexuality is illegal, or masturbation is against religious teachings, for instance. I'm not here to push my morals and values on you. I'm going to be presenting you with factual information and links so you can make informed decisions. Perhaps my blog will provide a tool for you to talk with your parents.

---

Let's start by discussing childhood development in terms of sexuality. You will likely be a parent in the future or will have little family members, like nieces, nephews, or cousins. It's important to understand their behaviors so you can recognize if there are concerns. It's also helpful to know if what you are experiencing is common. 

I will then share posts on: puberty, healthy relationships and recognizing when yours is not healthy, sexting and being safe online, stages of intimacy, pregnancy and contraception, understanding mutual consent, and so on. I'll share clips and links that I find to be clear, accurate, and concise. ​

The following chart was created by Westbend Insurance - Culture of Safety using information provided by StopItNow.org. You might be surprised to know that babies and toddlers are curious and will find ways to comfort themselves by exploring their genital area. (ex. Boys might play with their penis when being changed or while playing in the tub, while you might see girls rocking across the floor or on the side of the sandbox.) Children in their first few years of school will sometimes self-stimulate in the classroom or on the playground when they are nervous. At this age, this behavior can be approached in a similar way you would view children sucking their thumb. Notice that by the age of 6 to 8, children are able to understand that this self-stimulation should be done in private. Reading the chart might trigger memories of friends in early elementary school playing doctor, which is quite common.
Look closely at each age group and the common behaviors. Uncommon behaviors are cues that something could be wrong. If you see these uncommon behaviors in a child or teen, you should let a counselor or trusted adult know. It is possible some professional help is needed. If reading this chart upsets you in any way, please talk to a trusted adult.
The main reason for sharing this is because some children are made to feel guilt or shame for behaviors that are developmentally appropriate. This will probably help you to realize that the thoughts and behaviors you have experienced throughout your development are/were normal.

This is an important starting point. We are often given the false impression that our sexual development begins at puberty. As you can see, that's clearly not the case.
If this topic is interesting to you, the following links provide additional information:
National Traumatic Child Stress Network - contains child development chart through age 12 and what and when to teach children about sexuality related safety information
KidsHealth - for parents on early childhood sexual development (easy to understand)
Traverse Bay Childhood Advocacy - last four pages are detailed charts of childhood sexual development
Saskatchewan Prevention Institute - flip chart of details for nurses and parents about childhood sexual development
​
In the next post, I'm going to focus on puberty, which is an exciting but challenging time. Feel free to send me a message or leave a comment if there is a topic of particular interest that you feel you need help understanding.

Definitions via Dictionary.com
stimulate 
verb   1.(transitive) ( physiol) to excite (a nerve, organ, etc) with a stimulus
masturbate 
verb   1.to stimulate the genital organs of (oneself or another) to achieve sexual pleasure
voyeurism 
noun   1.the practice of obtaining sexual gratification by looking at sexual objects or acts, especially secretively.
genitalia 
plural noun, Anatomy.
1.the organs of reproduction, especially the external organs.

"Common and Uncommon Sexual Behaviors." West Bend - Culture of Safety. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Apr. 2016. <http://www.cultureofsafety.com/childcare/peer-abuse/>.
Dhingra, Sanya. Boy reading book about sex. Digital image. 5 Things About Child Sexuality That Are Anxiously Suppressed By Parents. The Viewspaper, 21 Apr. 2015. Web. 10 Apr. 2016.
Terrell, Kelly. Boy talking with dad. Digital image. Do Parents Need to Be More Real With Their Kids About Sex? BETHealth, 17 Oct. 2014. Web. 10 Apr. 2016.
"What Is Age Appropriate?" Stop It Now! FivePaths, 30 Jan. 2008. Web. 10 Apr. 2016. <http://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/what-is-age-appropriate>.